


Real Man

by ByzantiumWithChampagne



Series: Alone With You [1]
Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friend Hyunjin, Caretaking, Crying, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hwang Hyunjin is a Sweetheart, Hyunjin Is Hurt, Literal Sleeping Together, Mental Breakdown, Platonic Cuddling, Society Expectations, Unresolved Sexual Tension, mentions of Toxic Masculinity, mentions of abuse, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22201000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ByzantiumWithChampagne/pseuds/ByzantiumWithChampagne
Summary: Not even in your worst nightmares would you expect the reason behind Hyunjin's late visit.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Reader
Series: Alone With You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598092
Comments: 4
Kudos: 92





	Real Man

Hyunjin’s weird message found you trying to relax after a long day filled with irritating people. You were about to make yourself a tea when your phone vibrated. With a kettle still in your hand, you checked the screen just to see a simple question if he could come over now. You quickly tapped _sure_ and came back to your tea. For some reason it made you feel uneasy. There would be nothing wrong with the question itself if it only weren’t from Hwang Hyunjin. The one and only person who literally never asked about visiting - he just did.

When the doorbell rang, you became even more anxious. Hyunjin had the keys to your apartment – he would normally let himself in already. The irrational feeling only increased when he entered wearing only a pair of jeans and a black hoodie. His face was almost fully covered by face mask and sunglasses.

“I know you’re hot, but it’s not the reason to–“

Words died at your lips when he took the mask and glasses off. You could only stare at him for what seemed like an eternity. His eyes were red and puffy from crying and just that made the first spark of anger appear. However, what truly made you mad was already forming bruise on his left cheek and dried blood on his busted lip.

“Who hurt you?”

You could barely recognize your own voice: tone low and dark, filled with cold aggression. At first Hyunjin took a step back, but then something like irritation passed through his face, and he took step forward.

“It’s nothing,” he snarled and tried to move past you, but you didn’t let him. 

“Hyunjin,” you said sternly.

“What?” he said but his voice broke at the very end of a question.

Tears started to roll down his cheeks even though he tried to wipe them. Unsuccessfully.

“I’m not a real man, am I,” he laughed sadly, and this time in was your turn to ask:

“What?”

Truly taken aback you didn’t try to stop him this time when he walked past you. He went straight to your bathroom and locked the door. When you heard the water running, you finally got yourself together and went to the bedroom to search for some clothes for him. The task was not an easy one: Hyunjin was definitely bulkier than you were. He might not be the most muscular guy, but his long limbs were certainly making up for that in terms of clothes size. You quickly found some boxers, but finding t-shirt seemed like an actual challenge. After what seemed like hours of searching, you finally accepted the fact that you’d have to give him one of your huge t-shirts also known as your pajamas.

“When you said you like large clothes, that’s not what I expected,” said hoarse voice behind you.

You turned around just to see that he was still wearing the clothes he came in. You wrinkled your nose in disgust – the very idea of wearing dirty clothes after shower was deeply unnerving.

“It’s for you. Take those off.” You threw the t-shirt in his direction.

“I’ll turn around and you change. Just do it quickly 'cause it’s pretty late you know,” you said and sat on the bed back to him.

He didn’t even move for a few seconds.

“There is no need to–“

“Hyunjin,” you interrupted him. “There is no goddamn way I’m letting you into my bed if you won’t change. The end of the discussion.”

You heard him sigh and then the rustle of fabric informed you that he decided to not pick up the fight.

“I’m done,” he said quietly after a few minutes.

You turned around and to be absolutely honest it took everything from you to not curse at the view. It wasn’t like you never saw each other at last partially naked, but you weren’t really focused on his nakedness back then. Recently it became more difficult, but you were still doing pretty well in your opinion.

Now, however, it was hard not to stare at him when he stood there wearing only a pair of black boxers and a blue t-shirt. Your gaze drifted to his muscled thighs shaped from the years of dancing and you had to swallow. The ideas that appeared in your head weren’t appropriate in the slightest.

“Still prefer to sleep on the right side?”

You smiled trying to get yourself together. It didn’t matter that the sexual tension between you two gradually increased with passing time – he had a girlfriend and on the top of that you could feel that something was wrong. It certainly wasn’t the time to be horny.

“Yeah, um, can I ask you a favor?”

He asked scratching the back of his neck bashfully to which you only rose a brow with a small smile.

“Can I be the big spoon?”

Your smile disappeared immediately.

“Are you serious?”

Your voice came out unintentionally cold and you sighed internally at that.

“Hyunjin you know that I don’t like it. Like, I seriously hate it and you know that.”

This time you just sounded betrayed for some reason. Clearly, the very sight of him half-naked made you lose your senses to the point where you weren’t even able to control your voice. Someone’s in the need of good pep talk, really.

“Shouldn’t a man be the big spoon?”

He looked at you as if he was expecting something, but you had no idea what it was. It clearly was connected to his notorious questions about the topic of masculinity, but you truly couldn’t connect the dots yourself. Did you miss something important? Was he dropping hints about something that you didn’t pick up?

“Just get to bed,” you said with a shake of the head.

He quietly rose the covers and crawled under them to lay comfortably. Or so you thought because when you joined him, you realized that his muscles are all tensed. You turned off the light and patted the pillow a few times before laying down.

The silence was so unbroken that you thought he had fallen asleep. You were ready to follow him when you heard a quiet noise. It took you a few seconds to realize that it was Hyunjin – he was crying almost soundlessly, his body shaking now.

“Hyunjin,” you whispered and he froze.

Now or never, you thought and moved in the dark in his direction. You were never good at calculating the distance so bumping into him wasn’t really surprising. What actually surprised you was the fact that he was laying so low that you practically showed your breasts into his face. He clearly didn’t seem to care because he pushed his face into your chest even further.

“It’s okay baby,” you said gently and placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I’m here for you.”

Those last words seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back: Hyunjin completely broke down. It wasn’t the type of breakdowns that are seen in movies, no, it was ugly, raw, and shattered your heart to pieces. Your Hyunjin, your brave and always optimistic Hyunjin crying until he couldn’t breathe, holding onto you as if you’re the only one who can save him. Then, he started to talk: slowly uttering word by word with quiet sobs in between. His voice voided of emotions even in the most heartbreaking parts.

“And then she called me a pussy, but she often does that, so I didn’t react. It made her angry, you know. Very angry,” he whispered into your neck, and you knew what he was going to say next.

“I didn’t even register the first blow,” he laughed hollowly. “But the second one was so painful that I had to curl on the floor. She used that to kick me in the stomach.”

You shivered with rage, your hands balled into fists. You couldn’t believe that she could do this to him. How could she treat like that someone as sweet and loving as Hyunjin? Yes, he wasn’t the typical manly man, but it was exactly what you loved about him the most! He wasn’t afraid to show his emotions, to love openly or to express himself in every way he found fitting. He was sexy and manly, but he could also be cute and cuddly: he loved to hug and to be hugged, to kiss and to be kissed, to make his loved ones smile. How could that awful girl despise him for that?

“I know that I don’t act like a man, but is this really that bad?”

His question pulled you out of your head, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sighed, and the tears unexpectedly started to roll down your cheeks.

He rose his head surprised when one of them fell onto his forehead.

“There is nothing, absolutely goddamn nothing wrong with you,” you said hoarsely, your voice full of emotions. “You’re perfect the way you are and believe me – I’ll spend every single day from now on reminding you about it. Yes, you’re not manly in her eyes, but her standards are not healthy baby. They’re toxic. She’s toxic.”

Hyunjin only hugged you tighter, but you could feel his own tears on your shoulder.

“I broke up with her, you know. I know she wasn’t good for me, but I still love her,” he whispered a few minutes later. “I love her so bad.”

“It’s okay to feel that way baby,” you said only and placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head. “Go to sleep now. You must be tired.”

“You’re right,” he said quietly and turned around.

When you tried to move away, he gently took your hand and placed it on his abdomen, so now you hugged him from behind. As a big spoon.

“Thank you.”

You heard him whispering and moved so close that there was no free space between your bodies.

“I’ll always be there for you Hyunjin,” you whispered back and impulsively kissed the back of his neck.

You couldn’t sleep so you just laid there and cuddled him knowing you will never let anyone hurt him like this again.

**Author's Note:**

> Men suffer from the society's expectations too. If you experience any kind of abuse, don't be afraid to stand up for yourself just because "men cannot be abused". That statement is a lie and it doesn't make you any less of a man.


End file.
